


Sweet Dreams Are Made of Assholes

by Eilera



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: And They Don't Involve Annoying Boyfriends Teasing You, Cuddling, Dorks in Love, Established Relationship, Fluff, He Loves It, Humor, I'm Gonna Call This Ship Lattiro, Lance Is Trapped In The Best Way, Lattiro, M/M, Matt Holt is a Troll, OT3, Shiro Needs More Sleep, Sleepy Cuddling, There Are Rules When Someone Falls Asleep On You, and they all love each other, sleeping, they are dorks
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-09
Updated: 2018-08-09
Packaged: 2019-06-24 03:42:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,278
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15621777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eilera/pseuds/Eilera
Summary: The movie had ended awhile ago and Shiro was still completely out, drooling on Lance’s shirt where his head rested on his chest, one arm dangling over the edge of the couch. It was adorable. Lance knew the rules like anyone else: if someone was asleep on you, you didn’t wake them up unless it was a dire emergency or you desperately had to pee.Neither of those was a problem right now, but did death by boredom count as an emergency?((In which Shiro falls asleep on Lance, and Matt decides to troll him while he's trapped.))





	Sweet Dreams Are Made of Assholes

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BlueberryAngel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlueberryAngel/gifts).



> So I'm an avid Shatt shipper, but I also love me some sweet, sweet Shance fic. Then, out of nowhere, I started considering Latte. Eventually I thought "why not all of them?" and here we are. If anyone can handle these to meme masters, it's Shiro. 
> 
> This is just a fun little fluff fic, but I had a lot of fun writing it so I'll probably do more with these three. I'll call it Lattiro...dunno if anyone has named this OT3 yet...
> 
> Special thanks to [SmolCryingChildSitsAlone287](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmolCryingChildSitsAlone287/pseuds/SmolCryingChildSitsAlone287) for beta'ing as well as [DeathByStorm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/DeathByStorm/works) for beta'ing as well and for helping me with ideas for trolling Lance. Thank youuuu! <3

Lance was trapped.

He gave a quiet sigh, staring up at the ceiling. Shiro and Lance had been watching a movie together in what everyone had dubbed the “relaxation tent”, cuddling on the couch. They were taking a break as they slowly (too slowly for Lance’s taste) made their way back to Earth. Lance had been chattering away throughout the movie (Mulan, they’d seen it a million times and it never got old) when Shiro let out a quiet snore.

The jerk had fallen asleep on him.

Lance couldn’t bring himself to be mad. It was a well-known, not-so-well-kept secret that Shiro didn’t get enough sleep. So, who was he to get in the way of that?

Except, he was  _bored_.

The movie had ended awhile ago and Shiro was still completely out, drooling on Lance’s shirt where his head rested on his chest with one arm dangling over the edge of the couch. It was adorable. Lance knew the rules like anyone else: if someone was asleep on you, you didn’t wake them up unless it was a dire emergency or you desperately had to pee.

Neither of those was a problem right now, but did death by boredom count as an emergency?

Lance carefully stretched his arm out towards the side table, trying to grab his phone. If he could just…reach…it…

“Ugh!” He huffed, letting his head fall back against the armrest. His empty hand flopped back down at his side. It was too far. For once in his life his lanky body had failed him when he needed it the most. This was karma.

“Luke, use the force.” A voice said from the back end of the couch.

Lance twitched and then froze, blue eyes peering at Shiro nervously. Nope, still out. Thank God.

“Matt!” Lance hissed as the rebel draped himself over the back of the couch. Lance made grabbing motions at him with his hands. “Help me!”

Matt gave him a smarmy grin. “Oh no, I know the rules, my delicious empanada. Suffer.”

Lance narrowed his eyes. “Shiro isn’t the problem, boredom is. Entertain me.”

Matt’s grin turned shit-eating and Lance’s heart somehow simultaneously sank with trepidation and flip-flopped like a stranded fish. Matt had the strangest effect on him. “I’m here for your entertainment.”

“Don’t quote Adam Lambert at me.”

“I’m surprised you young’uns know his name.” Matt sighed dramatically, reaching over to poke Lance on the nose.

Lance bristled and shot him a glare.

Shiro mumbled something softly, so quiet Lance couldn’t quite make it out. Lance and Matt both held their breaths, watching as Shiro flipped his head to face the front of the couch. His fingers tightened in Lance’s shirt as he shuffled before slowly sinking back into sleep.

Matt waited a few seconds before his grin was firmly back in place. “Well, well, well. I’ve got an adorably sleepy Shiro-pon and a trapped Lancelot at my mercy. Thank you, to a God I don’t believe in for this gift. I will use it wisely, as I do with all things in life.”

Lance rolled his eyes. “You are amazingly awful.”

“That’s an oxymoron.”

Lance flushed. “ _You’re_  an oxymoron.”

Matt moved around the couch and for the first time Lance realized he was holding-

“I was  _going_  to share this delicious  _cake_  that Hunk made.” Matt said with over-the-top woe. “But if you want some, you’ll have to come over here.” He said the last part with a sing-song voice.

Lance swallowed. That cake looked delectable. And Hunk made it, so it was most definitely orgasmic. He wanted some  _so badly_  but-

Lance glanced at Shiro’s content face. He couldn’t do it.

“Maaaatt,” He whined quietly, turning to the other man with the full force of his pout.

Matt paused, a forkful of cake halfway to his mouth. Oh, ho, ho, Lance had him now! He was going  _down_ -

Matt swallowed a giant mouthful, moaning. “This. Is. Amazing.” He said with his mouth full, bits of tantalising cake spraying everywhere as he spoke.

Okay, there was something wrong with Lance if half-masticated food still looked appetizing to him. Hunk truly was a genius and he was going to murder Matt when he was free.

It was painful to watch. Matt continued to eat the cake oh so slowly, making ridiculous porno moans with each bite and goddammit if Lance’s body wasn’t interested in those sounds, no matter how absurd. Matt was evil. A demon. What did Lance do to deserve this?

“This is beyond cruel and I’m reporting you for domestic abuse.”

Matt laughed, as he let the empty plate clatter onto the table. “You’re right, I went too far. I promise you there is more cake.”

Lance relaxed.

However, he tensed up almost immediately. Matt’s grin had turned dangerous as he crept closer. Oh dear God, what was he planning? Surely a plotting Matt was considered a dire emergency!?

Lance tried to swat Matt away, but he was hampered by the 186-pound Shiro draped across him like the best kind of weighted blanket. He was defenceless as Matt’s fingers prodded his sides, tickling him mercilessly like the worst cartoon villain ever known to mankind. He struggled to stifle his laughter as his body twitched and he simultaneously tried  _not_   _to move_. Unlike Shiro, both Matt and Lance had siblings. They knew how to tickle at maximum efficiency.

Shiro let out a quiet hum, shifting against Lance once more. Matt and Lance paused. Oh crap, he was waking up! Dammit, he needed to-

Matt carefully reached over to Shiro and gently started running his fingers through the white locks of his hair. Shiro let out a soft sigh, lips twitching into a smile as he rubbed his cheek on Lance’s chest. His arms wrapped around him, effectively trapping Lance’s arms to his sides. Eventually, Shiro sunk back into deeper sleep with a quiet snore.

Again, Lance and Matt waited a few seconds with bated breath, eyes intense on Shiro. When he didn’t move, Matt turned to Lance.

“Okay, no more tickling. Buuuuuut,” His Cheshire Cat grin was back in full force. “I think you could use a makeover.”

The blood drained from Lance’s face.

No.

“Matt-“

“And look! I’ve got this marker right here!” Matt held up the Altean equivalent of a sharpie.

“Don’t you dare-“

“How about some whiskers? You’d make a very cute  _gato_ (cat).” Matt’s golden-brown eyes sparkled as he carefully applied the marker to Lance’s beautiful face.

“I just used a moisturizer, you asshat!”  

“Oh, of course, I know what you want. You want the D.”

Lance’s eyes widened as a blush spread across his face like an oncoming storm. “Matt!” He hissed, squirming to free himself but Shiro was not letting him go at all.

“A nice, big, hairy duck. Right on your forehead.” Matt laughed, drawing what Lance sincerely hoped was actually a duck and not something else that started with a ‘D’.

Man, it wasn’t  _fair_. Matt looked damn adorable when he concentrated. His tongue was sticking slightly out of his mouth as he carefully brushed the ink onto Lance's forehead and the red paladin cursed himself for finding the rebel cute when he was tormenting him like this. Matt stepped back and contemplated Lance with a pleased smirk.

 

Okay, Lance wasn’t just going to take this sitting, er,  _laying_  down.

“It really is too bad that there isn’t enough room for you over here.” Lance sighed dramatically, pulling Shiro even closer towards him. The larger man burrowed his face in Lance’s neck, still breathing deeply from sleep.

Lance shot Matt a smug grin, happy to see the smile slide right off his stupid face. Lance was the one with an armful of hot, toned abs and bulging biceps. He was the real winner here.

Even if he had a dick and/or duck on his forehead.

Matt leaned over him, somehow managing to free one of Lance’s arm’s from Shiro’s death-grip. Lance watched as Matt contemplated it for a moment before moving Lance’s arm and smacking him in the face with it.

Lance blinked. “Dude.”

Matt gave him an innocent look. “What?”

“Seriously?”

“Seriously is my middle name.”

“That doesn’t even make any sen-“

Matt slapped him again with his own hand. “Why are you hitting yourself?”

Lance carefully breathed through his nose. “Don’t-“

Smack.

“Matt-“

Slap.

“Stop-“

Matt was suddenly very close. “Do you like it when I spank you?”

Lance flushed, heart skipping a beat. “Go away.” He whispered fiercely, though he couldn’t keep the grin off his face. “I don’t need you here.”

Matt’s eyebrow rose in consternation. “I disagree. I know you  _want_  me here.”

“I don’t. Let me and Shiro cuddle in peace.”

Matt leaned in closer and Lance’s breath caught in his throat. “Just admit that you want me.”

“No.”

Matt came closer still, lips hovering mere centimetres away from Lance’s. Their breaths mingled as Lance focused on Matt’s golden-brown eyes.

“Say it.”

Lance gave him his most debonair smile and was pleased to see Matt swallow carefully. He pushed up a bit so their lips just barely touched.

Then he blew right in Matt’s face.

The other man squawked, flailing back but before he could get any further, Shiro’s arm darted out to grab his wrist and stop his momentum short. Shiro lifted his head, dark eyes clouded with sleep and white hair sticking out haphazardly. Lance swooned internally.

“You guys are too noisy.”

“He started it.” Lance said immediately.

Shiro frowned at him. “What’s on your forehead?”

“I don’t know?” Lance said slowly.

“It’s a duck.” Matt said proudly, smug grin in place. Oh, thank God. “With a giant dick.”

Lance was going to choke him with his own cloak.

Shiro squinted at Lance and tilted his head. “It looks like a steamboat.”

“It’s clearly a giant dicked duck and I am disappointed in your lack of admiration in my skills.”

“I don’t want a giant dicked duck or a steamboat on my face!” Lance squirmed, trying to free his other arm so he could strangle Matt. “I put up with him for you and this is the payment I get!?”

Shiro gave him a warm smile and Lance paused. “Thank you for letting me sleep, Lance.”

Well. Fine. Just go ahead and melt his heart into goo, thank you very much.

Shiro leaned forward, pressing a gentle kiss to Lance’s lips. He grinned into it, fingers digging into Shiro’s shirt.

“Excuse me? I was entertaining you. You were about to die of boredom. I’m a goddamn hero.” Matt cut in.

Shiro shot Lance a mischievous look and Lance smirked.

“You’re absolutely right.” Shiro smiled, using his grip on Matt’s wrist to pull him into a searing kiss. As Matt melted into it, Shiro and Lance shot up as one, knocking the rebel to the floor. Matt screeched like a dying cat as Shiro pinned him down with casual grace.

“I think we need to show him how to draw a giant dicked duck.” Shiro grinned, dark eyes alive with playful delight.

“Damn right we do!” Lance cheered, grabbing the marker from where Matt had dropped it in his fall.

“This isn’t fair! You can’t gang up on me like this!” Matt pouted, struggling in vain to escape Shiro’s grip. He didn’t really look like he wanted to go anywhere, though. Lance couldn’t really blame him for that.

Lance peered down at him. “I think we should draw a moustache on him. Like one of those James Bond villains.”

“I think you need to add a monocle.”

“You’re right. He is that extra.”

Lance carefully drew a curling moustache under Matt’s nose, followed by a monocle around his right eye. He tilted his head as he contemplated his work. “I feel like it’s missing something.”

“Hmm, yes, I think I know what to add.” Shiro gently took the marker from Lance and carefully drew a kanji symbol in big, bold strokes. “Perfect.”

“Oh my God, what did you write on me?”

Lance laughed as Shiro wrote the translation in English underneath. It clearly read ‘baka (idiot)’. “It truly encapsulates the essence of you.”

Shiro’s shoulders shook with laughter as Matt stared at them indignantly.

“Don’t lie to me. It’s something bad, isn’t it?”

Lance smiled sweetly, bending down to press his lips to Matt’s with a soft kiss. The other man pressed up against him with a quiet moan. As Lance pulled away, Matt gave him a smarmy grin.

“Shiro needs some of our artwork too, you know.”

Lance turned to Shiro who had gone very still. “I think you’re right.”

Shiro was up and moving with all the grace of a panther. “I think I heard Keith call for me. I’ll talk to you guys-“

“Get him!”

Lance and Matt chased after Shiro who ran off with a laugh.

Being in space was hard. Being in space while fighting an intergalactic war was even worse.

But having fun with these two dorks was all that Lance could ask for.

_Owari_

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------

_Bonus_

Lance groaned as he shoved another bite of cake into his mouth. Orgasmic wasn’t a strong enough word for how delicious this cake was.

“And you ate this in  _front_  of me, you asshole.” He glared at Matt who looked completely unrepentant.

“I’m Pidge’s big brother. You gotta learn to fight dirty if you want to survive.”

“I’m breaking up with you two. I’m going to marry this cake.” Shiro rumbled, radiating happiness as he munched on his piece. He had what could be considered a duck or possibly a steamboat shakily drawn on his cheek.

“Yeah, that’s understandable.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please feel free to talk to me about Voltron on [Tumblr](http://eilera-chan.tumblr.com/). :)
> 
> My not-so-secret headcanon for this OT3 is that Matt learned Spanish and Japanese for Lance and Shiro and he speaks it to them knowing full well that one of them has no idea what he's saying. Shiro and Lance secretly love it when he speaks to them in their language but hate it when he speaks the one they don't understand. :P


End file.
